


Of Hounds and Hares

by xPhoenixFlamex



Series: disharmonious inspiration [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Inspired by Discord, Kakashi is Kaguya's Son, Time Traveller Sakumo, everyone is just really confused, no beta we die like men, yes you read that pairing right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 17:29:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15005813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xPhoenixFlamex/pseuds/xPhoenixFlamex
Summary: “You look just like your father.” She whispers in his ear, and unlike every other time he’s heard the words, it’s a compliment. She then leans back to look at him, and her eyes flick to above his head. “With a few exceptions.”He looks at her confused, a hand drifting upwards to pat his head. What is she-Oh. He has horns now. Cool.He mentally adds that to the list of ‘Things to Freak Out About Later’, right above Obito and right below ‘His Mother is the alien mother of the Sage of Six Paths’.





	Of Hounds and Hares

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beetlebee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beetlebee/gifts).



> Credit has to go to Sloaners and her wonderfully chaotic discord for this idea. It's a blast there, and this fic is merely an amalgamation of a lot of ideas said by various people there with my own personal touch.

 Kakashi never knew his mother. 

His father told him her name - Kaguya - when he first asked. He told him that she was an incredibly strong fighter, so skilled with chakra that the word _kunoichi_ could never do her justice.

He has vague memories of a woman incredibly pale, with light eyes that remind him of the Hyūga's Byakugan, smiling over him. He can picture if he tries hard enough two men who look incredibly strange looking over at him, grinning and chatting excitedly to one another.

He asks his father once where his mother was. His father simply looks up at the sky sadly and does not answer for a long time. When he does, he ruffles Kakashi’s hair and says how proud of him she’d be.

He never answers any questions about his mother. He never talks of her, or his father.

He covers his face in a mask in an attempt to block out any trace of his connection with either of them.

And he never _ever_ expects to actually meet his mother.

* * *

Kakashi’s running on pure adrenaline at this point. It’s a miracle he’s still upright, much less _fighting._

He’s used _kamui_ too many times and if he stops moving his vision gets very fuzzy. The dead came back to life and he’s been covered with bijū chakra and he lost Obito’s eye and then _Naruto grew it back._

Needless to say, his mind was _very_ occupied.

Therefore, he thinks he gets a pass on not realizing the connection between his mother’s name and the one that Black Zetsu calls ‘mother’.

Under the protection of Sasuke’s Susanoo, his head _pounds._ He recognizes the distinct feeling of chakra exhaustion, but it’s also mixed with something very new, focused on two spots on the top of his head.

He wonders for a moment if this is what it feels like before one drops dead from wasting too much chakra, but doesn’t voice a word. His students would worry (well, Sakura and Naruto would), which would be very bad considering that they might be the only four people left in the Great Shinobi Nations that can still fight.

So, yeah, no complaining.

(He does reach up and feel the area tenderly when no one’s looking and is surprised to feel two bumps there. He can’t remember banging his head in a way that would warrant such an injury, but it’s also been an absolutely _insane_ few days, so he dismisses it as just an injury.) 

* * *

Madara absorbs chakra from the shinobi trapped in the genjutsu.

Kakashi’s head pounds harder.

Madara changes.

And Kakashi _staggers_ when he sees the woman currently flying in the air away from Sakura and Kakashi, holding Naruto and Sasuke captive with her _hair._

Naruto says something that Kakashi can’t fully catch, but he does get the end of it. “Isn’t that... Ōtsutsuki Kaguya?”

And then, the name clicks.

“Kaguya,” He breathes, horror and shock filling him as the _incredibly pale woman with light eyes that remind him of the Hy_ _ū_ _ga's Byakugan_ throws down Naruto and Sasuke at their feet harshly.

The woman looks down at Sakura and Kakashi, and suddenly she freezes as well.

Sasuke already has lightning crackling at his fingertips, and Naruto is moving his hands into the familiar sign for shadow clone.

And Kaguya simply stares, her eyes fixed on Kakashi.

“Wait!” He yells, and Naruto and (surprisingly) Sasuke hold their ground.

“It’s okay, Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto yells, not moving his eyes away from the frozen woman. “We can take her.”

Kaguya lowers herself, not taking her eyes off of Kakashi. Kakashi can see Sasuke tense, obviously about to strike.

Kakashi gets to him first, and fearlessly grabs his former student’s shoulder. Sasuke whips his head and looks for a moment like he has half a mind to direct the chidori at Kakashi himself.

“Kakashi?” Kaguya asks, and her voice is almost hesitant.

And his students all freeze in their tracks and turn to stare at Kakashi in shock.

Kakashi head absolutely _pounds,_ before he feels something break through his skull. Naruto lets out a gasp and all three of them take a step back reflexively.

He pays no mind to any of that, his eyes stuck on Kaguya.

“Mom?”

There’s a moment of heavy silence, and then the alien goddess smiles at him.

Kakashi isn’t really aware of what exactly happens next - if he or Kaguya made the first move - but suddenly he’s hugging an _alien goddess_ who just trapped the _entire Allied Shinobi Force_ in a massive genjutsu.

And he finds he really doesn’t care.

“You look just like your father.” She whispers in his ear, and unlike every other time he’s heard the words, it’s a compliment. She then leans back to look at him, and her eyes flick to above his head. “With a few exceptions.”

He looks at her confused, a hand drifting upwards to pat his head. What is she-

Oh. He has horns now. Cool.

He mentally adds that to the list of ‘Things to Freak Out About Later’, right above Obito and right below ‘His Mother is  _the alien mother of the Sage of Six Paths'_.

Wait, does that make the Sage of Six Paths his _brother?_ Half-brother?

Wait, does that mean the Sage was an alien? Kami, is _he_ an alien?

(He adds some more additions to the list.)

He opens his mouth, and he has a million questions, but instead asks, “Why are you doing this?”

And she looks at him, and even though she doesn’t frown or anything that would convey sadness, he can sense _grief._ It’s in the ways her eyes close slightly, how her breathing becomes carefully regulated.

It’s not the normal way of expressing grief, but it’s the way Kakashi sees when he looks in the mirror, so he can recognize it pretty well.

(Oh Kami, does that mean he has _alien_ tendencies?)

“Your brothers took everything from me.” She says firmly.

His brothers. The Sage of Six Paths and...someone else who was apparently related to both of them.

She then looks beyond him, and veins pop out of her face in a way that shows her eyes are activated and _holy shit that_ is _a Byakugan does that mean that the Hy_ _ū_ _gas are all really alien?_

“They tamper with chakra without knowing its true meaning.” She continues. “They _must_ pay. Even if they do not still live, then Hagoromo’s sons will do fine.”

Sasuke and Naruto, she must be talking about. They did just suddenly get freaky new powers. Did they explain that, or not? Did they know they were apparently the Sage of Six Paths’ reincarnated sons?

Kakashi’s memory of the last hour is very sketchy. He thinks he’s got a pass on that, considering the circumstances.

His mind works sluggishly, and he opens his mouth before he has any sort of idea. “They’re my cute little students.” He blurts out. “Without parents. I’ve practically adopted them all already, so technically they’re your grandchildren.” He thinks for a moment. “Double grandchildren.” At least in Naruto and Sasuke’s case.

She looks at him for a long moment, before her veins go back into her face and she deactivates her dōjutsu.

She moves past him fluidly, and a hand reaches out and captures his wrist in an ironclad grip as she marches over to his three beyond bewildered students.

She stops right in front of them. They are all tense. And shooting Kakashi looks as if he’s a lunatic.

Kakashi’s too used to the latter to really be affected at this point.

Kaguya lets go of Kakashi and holds out her arms.

And suddenly, the three students are being crushed to death via hug by the Progenitor of Chakra herself.

Sasuke shoots him a look that promises Kakashi a slow and painful death.

Kakashi merely resigns himself to the insanity and joins in the hug.

* * *

He gives Kaguya a look, “Oh yeah. Mom, could you maybe, possibly, release everyone?”

She frowns.

“There are some nice people in there. Some of my friends.” Kakashi tries. “I’d be really sad if they died. Plus, there’s another student of mine in there. I also adopted him. Another grandbaby.”

Everyone is out of the genjutsu faster than Kakashi can process.

* * *

"Does this mean that the bijū are my nieces and nephews?" Kakashi asks suddenly to no one.

Naruto just shrugs. Sasuke glares. Sakura is ignoring him.

"Maa, maa, Sasuke. It's rude to look at your father that way."

* * *

It’s incredibly confusing to get everything sorted out and to get people to stop randomly attacking Kaguya.

Sai, the poor kid, looks like he’s about to drop dead when Kaguya reverently hugs him.

Obito wakes up at some point, and Naruto already told Minato about Kaguya, so he’s quickly cornered by both of them.

“Why didn’t you tell us that the Sage’s mother was also your mom?”

“Maa, maa, sensei. I didn’t exactly know before now.”

“Bakashi, why didn’t you tell me you’re a fucking _alien?”_

“Obito, why didn’t you tell me you were _alive?”_

“Point.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kakashi later develops a Byakugan and spends quality time with his mom in the mountains as she teaches him how to use it. Her grandchildren visit frequently even if Naruto has to drag Sasuke there. 
> 
> My writing tumblr is @xphoenixwritingx so you can talk to me there


End file.
